What We Do in the Shadows: “Citizenship”
- Nandor quests to become an American after he finds out his home country-Al Quolanudar-no longer exists, Colin Robinson wears cologne, and Nadja takes her fledgling vampire under her wing. Jenna is not so good at the wing thing.
- Spoilers
Nandor The Relentless…House Meeting Speaker
Colin Robinson: “I’m wearing a new cologne called ‘Mr. Hijinks’…I found it in the bathroom at work.”
Laszlo: “Why would you use a cologne?”
Colin Robinson: “To annoy you.”
Laszlo: “Touche”
Nandor(Kayvan Novak) is heading up a house meeting. Now, the usual (un)person would think this was tedious, but he always has good points. Blow out candles before you leave! Show victims that you didn’t kill the door. Don’t let them wander around, lost. After Colin Robinson’s(Mark Proksch) cologne/aftershave distracts Laszlo(Matt Berry) when Nandor is speaking, he declares that when he was the leader of his country, he would have killed anyone who interrupted him when he was discussing candles. This leads to questions of his place of birth and domination. We find it is called Al Quolanudar(I tried looking this up; either it is misspelled in the CC, or is made up; I am guessing the latter). He is dismayed when Colin Robinson tells him that the country was dissolved in the 1400s. Nandor feels adrift, until Guillermo(Harvey Guillén) tells him he can become an American citizen. We find he had actually filled out the paperwork in 1992, but never followed through.
Nandor appreciates court domination.
Photo credit: FX
Nandor the Fan
Why did Nandor start the citizenship process in 1992?
Five reasons: Johnson, Jordan, Bird, Barkley, Ewing. They headed up the 1992 Olympic Basketball team. Their total domination of the court really spoke to the vampire. He keeps mementos in his room.
He abandoned the citizen process because of the Macarena craze.
Nadja’s New, Stupid Vampire Baby That She Loves
Nandor isn’t the only one dealing with citizenship. Jenna(Beanie Feldstein), newly turned by Nadja(Natasia Demetriou), is having growing fangs. Also, growing pangs. She doesn’t understand what is happening to her. She is having strange urges and skin issues. Her usual flexitarian leanings are moving more towards flesh rending. The wanting to tear the roommate to shreds, though, probably has nothing to do with her turn to the undead.
Nadja finally approaches her and explains what is happening. She won’t feel so crappy if she would just kill and eat a human. Jenna resists, because she knows a lot of the students and wouldn’t put their families through such a thing. They try to find her dark gift. Nadja’s is crawling up things. But, no luck. And her changing into a bat abilities are disgusting, even to the vamps. Don’t ask Guillermo how he feels about Jenna.
Nandor Faces the Government Worker
Nandor figures that he can just hypnotize the immigration officer(Maury Ginsberg) to give him citizenship. He doesn’t study the books Guillermo brings him, thinking he won’t have to. But Nandor soon finds out that government workers have broken, yet inpenetrable souls. He fails his test miserably, and feels like a man without a country.
Jenna Passes Her Citizenship Test
Jenna is having a tough time. Even at a frat party, she is ignored. Even with her new vampirism, the men don’t notice her. Nadja hypnotizes a frat boy with ease, convincing him to flush his head seven times in the toilet and eat a brick. Jenna really doesn’t want to eat anyone. The two ladies are frustrated with each other. Jenna finally has a tantrum, and we find out why no one notices her. She can turn completely invisible, and when she figures it out, she finally gets it. She grabs an asshole ska singer in her completely invisible state, drags him outside, and feeds.
Guillermo to the Rescue
Guillermo-already pissed that Jenna was turned without ever being a familiar-gives his master Nandor some tough love. Cussing him out, he extols the virtues of being a vampire. Why would Nandor need citizenship anywhere? He’s immortal! Nandor comes out of his funk, and all is well. Unless you own the car Nandor puts dents in.
Blade Got it Wrong, So Wrong
After Jenna fills her thermos with ska blood, she and Nadja head home. Nadja has to explain to Jenna that, sadly, she can never be in sunlight again. Nonsense! The vampires in Blade wore motorcycle helmets and were fine! They sit on the roof to watch the sunrise and find out that the movies got it wrong. They both get the bat out of hell out of there, Jenna still not quite getting being a bat right…
Thoughts on “Citizenship”
Any time Colin interacts with the more traditional vampires, it is absolute comedy gold. The entire cologne exchange must be watched to be completely appreciated.
The sequences with Jenna had a very creepy, scary vibe. They actually gave me chills where a lot of modern horror movies have failed. The mirror, the eye shine, all of it.
Nandor being an unlikely basketball fan was the type of detail that makes this show so enjoyable.
How could Nandor not remember applying for citizenship before?
Nandor’s answers to the questions had me laughsnorting. The right to bear arms, indeed.
I really thought Jenna was going to die due to being too much of a new agey, liberal college student type. I thought she would wimp out and Nadja would kill her, or leave her in the sun. But turn she did.
Nadja’s delight over her stupid baby vampire was sweet, in a macabre way. She was more patient than I thought she would be.
Nadja is not a fan of most men. Her impression was funny, though.
Nandor not being able to say “God” without flames coming out of his mouth seemed to me like a subtle nod to Vlad Dracula, which translates to the son of the dragon. It seems like Nandor may have a little basis in this very real historic character.
Nandor and his bag of dirt are actually a part of vampire lore.
If this had happened before the vampire council last week, maybe Nadja could have asked Wesley about the motorcycle helmets?
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