Review: What We Do in the Shadows 310: The Portrait
Shadows 310: The Portrait: Is the band breaking up? Unhappy Nandor(Kayvan Novak) wants to travel the world, Nadja(Natasia Demetriou) is offered a promotion, and Laszlo(Matt Berry) is obsessed with the basement.
Warning: Spoilers!
The Portrait
Nadja explains that when a vampire dies, a new portrait of the surviving vampires is painted. Donal Logue just happens to be free, and to be an excellent painter. I am thinking the painting is a tribute to the Family Ties opener.
Nandor’s Wanderlust
Nandor is still restless, and wants to travel the world. Guillermo(Harvey Guillen) tries to dissuade him, and a fight ensues. A fight that Guillermo would have won(he has some sweet wrestling moves in addition to his vampire slayer skills), if Nandor hadn’t announced that he was only testing Guillermo. And Guillermo is now worthy of turning. But only after they have traveled to Nandor’s homeland; there he would bestow the gift of vampirism to Guillermo.
Nadja’s Promotion
Via a VHS tape, Viago(Taika Waititi) offers Nadja a position with The Worldwide Supreme Vampire Council in London. She is excited, but Laszlo has vowed never to set foot in his home country again. He was kicked out of a very exclusive club where his father, grandfather, etc. had been members. A secretly pleased Guillermo hopes this will keep the vampire family together.
When Nadja finally admits that she wants to go, Laszlo tells her that the reason he was booted from the exclusive club was that the members told him he had to choose between his membership and Nadja; they deemed her well below his station. His love of Nadja lost him his standing as a member. Nadja tells him that they will be returning as superiors, and Laszlo quickly changes his mind.
Laszlo’s Basement Obsession
Laszlo has been staying in the basement; the other vamps attribute this to him being unable to grieve Colin’s(Mark Proksch) death. He won’t allow anyone else to come down to the basement. But, really, they don’t want to go down there anyway.
The Parting of the Ways
Guillermo and Nandor are heading to the train station; Laszlo and Nadja are being packed in their coffins and put on a ship. Laszlo has brought Oreos and Pedialyte; for some reason, the vamps think these items are contraband in London. Or do they?
Before being nailed into her crate, Nadja tells Laszlo:
My darling, I will see you when we are kissing the ground of your native land, and make love on the bones of those who scorned you.
Laszlo tosses the bag of groceries into the shipping box with his coffin, and has a word with Guillermo. And by word, I mean he pushes Guillermo into the coffin instead, slams it shut, and nails the shipping crate down. So Guillermo has to survive on Oreos and Pedialyte during a transatlantic crossing. Laszlo tells an already crated Nadja that she is stronger than he ever imagined, but he is sending Guillermo as her bodyguard.
An impatient Nandor waits for Guillermo at the station, and eventually boards without him.
Colin Resurrection
Going back to the house, we learn that Colin Robinson is reborn, punching(or gnawing) his way out of his gooey corpse. Laszlo knew, and finally found the really creepy Colin toddler. Well, at least he isn’t as scary as Renesmee.
Photo credit: FX
Will Laszlo go on the run with toddler Colin as Jackie Daytona? Or will he be awaiting his beloved Nadja’s return at the house? How will Nandor survive without Guillermo?
You can catch all episodes of What We Do in the Shadows on Hulu. Stay tuned to FANdemonium Network for any updates on Season 4!
