Recap: DC’s Legends of Tomorrow: Terms of Service
Neron uses human’s terms of service skipping habit(and Ray’s friendly face) against humans. Gary really becomes the man we need right now. Neron sets his plans in motion to become the king of hell. Nora makes a deal with Tabitha to save Mona, and puts her trust in the wrong place. Zari and Charlie have a plan to save the day. Can hellblazer John Constantine convince the three kings of hell of Neron’s plans before it’s too late?
Fairy Gary Godmother
Gary(Adam Tsekhman) keeps making wishes, and keeps getting them granted by a frustrated Tabitha(Jane Carr). She wants Gary to be mean, and he keeps wishing for fluff. But as she is bound to him, there’s not much she can do. It’s the Terms of Fairy Godmother Service. Always read the small print, even if you are a demon. If not, you’ll be giving people spare nipples.
Neron, Ray actually would have liked the tech part of this. The evil part, not so much.
Photo credit: CW
Meanwhile, her boydemonfriend Neron/Ray’s meat sack(Brandon Routh) is using Ray’s company to spread a demon app that will steal the downloader’s soul, selling it to hell. Neron lets the world know that monsters are real, and beats Mona(Ramona Young) into submission to turn kaupe in front of the press as proof. Only downloading the app will help save the world, Ray hints. Help “in the Palm(er) of your hand”.
Mona, beaten and about to be forced to change into Neron’s “monster”.
Photo credit: CW
Nora(Courtney Ford) has been crawling around the Bureau’s air vents, and is John McClane level done with that. Fairy godmother finds her and sends her to Neron’s app presentation.
Off you go to the Pal(mer).
Photo credit: CW
Let’s Take Back the Time Bureau!
The group-including Bureau ousted Ava(Jes Macallan)-decide it’s time(No pun intended) to go to the Time Bureau, guns and grenades a’blazin’. Ok. Maybe not the grenades. Zari(Tala Ashe) is with egg. In her backpack. That used to be her cat carrier. Just as they rush in, Gary makes a wish-to be in the book club that is Sara and Ava exclusive. Sara, Ava, and Nora are whisked to his side. Sara demurs that they haven’t read the book. Oh, they read it. In seconds. Tabitha points out that the girls don’t respect him. So he wishes to be captain of the Waverider…
Gary’s captive audience.
Photo credit: CW
Mick(Dominic Purcell) and Nate(Nick Zano) have a bead on Neron, and are ready to bring him down, when Captain Gary decides they need to be on the ship, too.
Captain Garymerica.
Yeah, yeah, I know that’s not right.
Photo credit: CW
Zari, don’t forget that backpack anywhere.
Photo credit: CW
Zari is outed as a magical being and she and Charlie(Maisie Richardson-Sellers) hoof it, hiding out in Zari’s childhood home. Might need to mention that in the now now, Zari is a child(played by Gracelyn Awad Rinke). So they pep talk and run, forgetting something super important on the kitchen table.
Charlie isn’t liking what NeRay is selling.
Photo credit: CW
John’s in Hell-And He’s Just as Wanted There
John burns hotter than hell. Ask anybody.
Credit: @FANdemoniumNet
John Constantine(Matt Ryan) has to get Ray’s soul and get out of hell before all the demons he sent get to him first. One such demon named Masher tells him Neron’s plans. A mob of demons find John, but before they can get their revenge, John uses his silver tongue to get a parley. You would think John was a pirate in some alternate universe… Finally getting to the Triumvirate of Satan(Beau Daniels), Belial(Mel Tuck), and Beelzebub(Bill Croft), he tells them he will help them hold on to their places in hell if they release Ray’s soul. Those are John’s…Terms of service. Ray’s soul? Are you sure that’s the soul you want freed, John? They offer him another soul… Astra’s(Melody Niemann).
Gary Spills the Non Magic Beans
Gary, you are one of us.
Photo credit: CW
Gary is tired of being treated like an idiot, even when he is controlling a fairy godmother demon witch. He has a tantrum, punishing the Legends. Granted, his punishments are milder than the fairy godmother wanted. She berates him and leaves. It is only after she leaves that Gary explains that he knows what the godmother really wants him to do, and he has been wishing for silly stuff to keep them safe. Sara explains that the Legends are misfits whose disappearance wouldn’t matter in the timeline; Gary is important, and necessary.
Zari and Charlie Have a Plan
Using Charlie’s shapeshifting skills(not to mention her ability to knock people out), they infiltrate the Bureau. They find Mona in a bad way, her beating leaving her near death.
They manage to free all of the monsters at the Bureau, including the Minotaur(Daniel Cudmore), sending them to the Waverider. But they’re caught before Mona can be carried to safety. Only Charlie is left, and Neron has plans for her.
It seems Nora has a friend in Tabitha. Tabitha wants to help Mona, but she is bound to Gary. If only some other magical being would take her wand and remove the curse, Mona could be helped. Nora falls for it and takes over as fairy godmother. She gets trapped, since she didn’t read the FG ToS. It’s kinda like the genie’s in Aladdin. Nora is bound to Gary, and Tabitha is free. And she’s able to dress in a more svelte fashion.
John Chooses Unwisely
John chooses Astra’s soul over Ray’s. He assumes she is still an innocent child, and that she wants to go back to earth. But hell changed Astra. She wants nothing to do with going home, and everything to do with torturing John. The Triumverate own John now, and Ray is trapped, too. Calibraxis(Jason Simpson) the demon looms over an imprisoned John, knife in hand, and the scene fades and the door closes.
The Egg and Young Zari
Coming home, young Zari finds the strange backpack, and the dragon egg is hatching…
Thoughts on “Terms of Service”
- Neron taunting Nora about her father was low. I wanted to beat him with his own shoes. More of a Pazuzu move.
- Brandon Routh is doing a fine job of being
hot when he’sevil. - Gary’s realization that he was important, and had value hopefully will flesh out the character and give him an arc. Not just because I want more incredibly, incredibly hot, confident Gary like last week.
- Mick just has zero you know what’s to give. His admission that he only listens for his name without actually listening to conversations made me laugh out loud.
- I really like Charlie, and hope Neron doesn’t kill her.
- Nora rocks the fairy godmother look.
- Paul Reubens is listed as the voice of Dybbuk. I am assuming this is in hell. This may be a mis-list for next week’s ep.
- Nate as a pimply, permed and mulletted teen in braces was a highlight. Except it was like being back in high school, which was not a highlight.
- Caity/Sara and Jes/Ava can dance! Wish they could go back in time and dance with Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly!
- HEY! MICK SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE BOOK CLUB!
- IMDB doesn’t have the actor playing Masher(the demon that tells John what Neron is doing) listed.
- Beebo pacifier
- The cooing over a dragon’s egg is timely, am I right?
- I have made no bones about Mona being a bit of a buzzkill, but my heart really went out to her. Mona;s spirit seems broken. Ramona Young really brought it this week.
- Zari’s hair is gorgeous, just saying.
Constantine Trivia, and Thoughts
A lot of footage(or damn good reshoots) of the original Constantine TV series pilot is used.
Calibraxis looks a lot like the possessed security guard(Victor McCay) in the aforementioned Constantine Pilot.
Adult Astra’s actress is not listed anywhere
On IMDB, Beau Daniels is listed as playing “Stan” instead of Satan.
Matt’s look when the demon asks him if he looks like a pirate. Loved that verbal Assassin’s Creed Easter Egg for Matt.
The original Triumvirate in the Hellblazer comic included The First of the Fallen, Beelzebub, and Azazel.
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