John Carpenter’s The Thing: The Perfect Horror Movie
Photo credit: Universal
John Carpenter’s The Thing: This classic horror film is perfect for any horror genre fan. I’m going to go over the many ways it satisfies(like a Snickers Bar, but scarier) every type of horror viewer.
Spoilers ahead
But Before We Start…
Let’s get one thing straight. I am talking about the 1982 film, not the CGI crapfest prequel from 2011. OK. Good. Cleared that right up. Onward!
The Characters Are Smart(and Diverse)
Brilliantly written characters.
Photo credit: Universal
The cast of characters are smart. There isn’t one person that witnesses the horror and isn’t believed until it’s too late, there isn’t idiotic running nowhere and being unprepared. The characters surmise that the creature from another world is stalking them, how it can infect any living thing, and how to kill it. This in no way lessens the story, as you can relax and just enjoy being frightened and not throw things at the TV when stupid things are done by stupid people.
There is a diverse cast, but no stereotypes. Everyone is skilled at something, which makes sense, as they are an isolated crew working in the Arctic. The one thing there aren’t are women. This is fine, as I’m sure it cut out the need for Mr. Carpenter to have to explain why Kurt Russell wasn’t romancing one of them to some Hollywood higher up with more cocaine in his head(it was the eighties) than brains.
Classic Monster
The movie is based on an earlier movie. The Thing From Another World was made in 1951, with James Arness(actor and WWII badass hero) playing the clunky alien monster. This, in turn, is based on a short story by John W. Campbell, Jr. titled “Who Goes There?”, written in the 1930s. So this movie does have roots firmly planted in the classic monster garden. But John Carpenter’s alien…hoo boy. Hold on, because that’s where we encounter The Thing thanks to
Practical Effects
Dude looks almost as bad as a Harkonnen.
Photo credit: Univeral
Thanks to Rob Bottin, the practical effects in The Thing still look incredible in today’s CGI world. When you see the scene with the spider head crab thing, you’ll still get creeped out, I don’t care how much you’ve seen CGI fests like Underworld. CGI can’t capture the clunkiness or lack of fluidity and confusion a creature from another world assuming shapes after being frozen for millennia would have. These things, these monstrous distortions of human and animal bodies seem tangible because they are. And where you have incredible effects, you can have lots of
Gore
Arms are ripped off, heads detach, things peel off and reopen on glistening sinew, which in turn become whips as the Thing morphs and twists. Also, bad things happen to dogs. My one quarrel, but as an alien is doing it and not the devoted humans, I let it go.
If you’ve never seen this scene, I pity you.
Photo credit: Universal
Who is Stalking Who?
As mentioned, the keen minded characters know there is a deadly alien. They also know it can assume human form. Has anyone else been affected, or did the creature die in the kennel? The question is answered quickly, but did the crew assume rightly?
Psychological Terror
Nobody…nobody trusts anybody now, and we’re all very tired.
Imagine you have been close to your work crew for over a decade. Worked with them, bunked in isolated outposts, had drinks and argued with them. You know them. But then an alien that can look like that co-worker comes along and can assume anyone, even your crew. You’ve seen the monster’s handiwork in the dog kennel, the abomination that was lying in the kennel was no dog, but you believed it was, were certain it was, at one time. You took it in and put it with the other dogs. But now, who really is your friend? There’s no way to get help; the comms and all forms of transport have been smashed. You’re in the middle of nowhere. Can you sleep? Should you eat what the cook prepares for you? What about the doctor, does he really need to see you about the cough you had this morning?
The Satisfying End
We’re not gettin’ outta here alive, but neither is that thing.
The end is bleak, making these men even more heroic. The lead, MacReady(Kurt Russell) realizes that the only way to ensure the survival of mankind is to kill the creature. Doing so will destroy the outpost, leaving the human survivors literally out in the cold. -100 degrees Fahrenheit, to be exact. They do the right thing, and the final two survivors are exhausted and unsure of each other. We know MacReady is fine, but what about Childs? He was gone for a while. MacReady hands him a drink and says:
Why don’t we just…wait here for a little while…see what happens?
Now, the big internet argument was that Mac gave Childs a Molotov Cocktail to drink. Being an alien, he drank it, not knowing that a human wouldn’t drink the foul tasting liquid.
However, let me spoil the spoiler for you-while that is a brilliant theory, it was just a drink, and Childs was human. The 2002 video game was a canonical sequel, and Childs died of exposure-something the alien would not do.
The Cast
Like Carpenter’s Halloween and it’s recent reboot, he cast brilliant actors, playing paranoid, hero, or hidden monster with consummate skill:
Kurt Russell as MacReady
Keith David as Childs
Wilford Brimley as Dr. Blair
T.K. Carter as Nauls
David Clennon as Palmer
Richard Dysart as Dr. Copper
Charles Hallahan as Vance Norris
Peter Maloney as George Bennings
Richard Masur as Clark
Donald Moffat as Garry
Joel Polis as Fuchs
Thomas Waites as Windows
Still Discussed(and Argued About) Today
Another mark of a great film is how long people keep talking about it. Apart from the Childs drinking a Molotov Cocktail, there are plenty of other theories and arguments today on forums around the world. When did certain characters get infected, did this plot point matter, who was infected first, the list is a long one, and fun to see.
Pretty darn impressive, in my book(disclaimer: I do not have a book. I mean, I own books, I just haven’t published any.)
So that is my opinion of John Carpenter’s The Thing. What do you think?
