Scare Package: Gory, Meta, Fun
Scare Package is what you would get if you put Scream, Airplane, Community’s Abed, The Cabin in the Woods, and Deadpool in a blender. It is an ode to the horror and gore viewer, be they hardcore viewers or just the ones who watch with them and roll their eyes.
Tropes, like horror movie victims get skewered for miles.
Don’t think about it, just watch this anthology.
Some light spoilers ahead.
The Start
We see a guy(Jon Michael Simpson) that’s always having to do bad things. Y’know, like move the arrow so that the kids actually go to the abandoned insane asylum instead of the campground. He also puts cursed objects in attics, and sells demon infested houses. But he wants to be good.
Spoiler: he can’t.
But we find it is just a screenplay by the same man, riding in a car with Chad(Jeremy King), the owner of Rad Chad’s Horror Emporium. Chad drops the man off, warning him not to ride with hitchhikers. Chad’s convertible top has a very familiar pattern.
Rad Chad’s Horror Emporium
Rad Chad rents horror videos, and horror videos exclusively. He’s hiring, and Sam(Byron Brown) wants the job. But Sam is annoying as f and Chad tells him no. Enter Hawn(Hawn Tran). Hawn is a stranger, but Chad hires him on the spot.
The rest of the stories begin when Hawn begins working.
The Stories
They involve werewolves, satanists, killers, and feminists, not necessarily in that order. There’s a goo monster, and a killer in the woods. There is a woodchipper.
Photo credit: Paper Street Pictures
Callbacks
Not only are there color schemes that match classic horror monsters, there’s cinematography. Look out for callbacks to pretty much any horror film you’ve ever seen. And I don’t mean that in a tired, overplayed way. The movie revels in the humor of just how stupid the typical horror film characters are, and the absurdity of some horror situations. But it never questions why we love them.
Photo credit: Paper Street Pictures
Snappy, Smart Dialogue
Just to show how smart, here is a quote from the movie between two characters(not gonna say who):
What would happen in a horror movie now?
I don’t know, I mean the only one I remember is the Friday the 13th one with Cory Feldman.
The Lost Boys Dude?
No, that’s Cory Haim.
Pretty sure that’s License to Drive.
No. Oh.
Joe Bob Briggs
Photo credit: Paper Street Pictures
Yep, Joe Bob is in this film. Can’t really elaborate.
Watch/Rent/Buy This Movie
Scare Package is a great film for gore/horror fans. Scare Package doesn’t talk down, it just pokes fun, sometimes at the things that frustrate us most about horror films; the scenes we scream at the screen about.
Scare Package is on streaming services like Shudder and Amazon, and is also available to purchase on DVD
